Gym And Tonic

I found out today that we may be in isolation but we’re never alone…

I’m pretty new to the whole gym-mania thing. Truth be told I have been a very very reluctant exerciser over the years, and am the first person to find a reason to dodge regular gym going. I’m a fad person, and I like something tangible - i.e. results. And fast. Since I’ve never done anything consistently I’ve obviously never had results, and so it goes on.

Anyway, the new me has seen the light - or rather I’ve seen the delights of Chris Hemsworth on his fitness app. Let me tell you now, I’m a convert. So on this sunny afternoon, before I was about to hit the gin, I thought I’d pop out to the garage and do a quick 20 minutes of exercise. Since this was the first day in ages I’d actually bothered to get dressed rather than slob about in my leggings, I was half way to getting changed, before I stopped - wondering to myself if I should even bother. Why, I thought, should I make more washing when I could just do a wee work out in my underwear. I don’t have large assets that need support, I’m not going to do anything too arduous and had no plans to break a sweat. Therefor what could be wrong with saving a bit of time, and just sticking with my undies and bra? So out I popped to the privacy of the garage armed with my water and laptop, ready to click onto Chris and his team of wellness gurus and enjoy a gentle workout.

Well it was soon apparent why doing a workout in non-gym gear is not a good idea. Firstly, I found, it is a deeply unattractive experience; and I have a new found respect for the person who bought us Lycra. There was a lot more jiggling and joggling than I would have liked, put it that way. Then, the icing on my sagging cake? With no forewarning whatsoever my ten year old appeared in the door way. And she was not alone - oh no, held high in her outstretched arms was my phone - and there on multi-person video call were four of her school friends. Yuck. How, I wonder, will I ever go on another school trip, with the knowledge half her mates have seen me squat jumping in my knickers.